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POWER IS MYSTERIOUS
By admin | August 20, 2007
Power is mysterious. I read with great interests what John Bittleston wrote in the Business Times on 25 June 2007. My husband used to photocopy useful articles and bring home for me to read. I love reading self development materials and ideas often form in my mind on how these connect with what I do and how I could use it for my own life, and share it with others.
John said, “The rules are simple; following them requires more discipline than most other aspects of life. Prepare, persist and be restrained.” I agree and resonate with the three ‘Ps’. I would add one more to prepare, persist and restrained - one more “reflect“. Reflection gives people that space to hold, a time to restrain from taking actions that can be defensive which can also become a negative power. Holding that space is put time on hold to think. Thoughts have been the most talk about in the 21st Century with “The Secrets” DVD and books as number one seller. Many lives have changed for the better applying how thoughts works with “Law of Attraction”.
The Power of Reflection
Reflection also means looking at what your response was that could create an awareness of what was in the past that brought you to react to the situation. Was the situation a replay of a similar situation? Was the pattern repeating itself? Do you recall being triggered and reacting to the situation? Is it him/her or you? Are you prepared to take the responsibility to take a look of your own behavior for a start? Ask yourself better questions? What is something that both of you are learning and not getting? If you find yourself angry, upset or agitated with aother person, pause, take a deep breadth. Restrain your unconscious pattern of playing the blame game. Do something different, go to a quiet place and write out your thoughts. Think about your thoughts. Reflect on them. Did you catch yourself blaming that person? Notice the ego is talking and not you. When you calm down, do an honest audit of your thoughts. Whatever you are saying about that person is a reflection of yourself. Some of you may not agree at this point, that is OK. Written reflection is like a process of cleaning up toxic from our system.
If you are ready to do some work from inside out, Life Coaching is part of the process. First, you have got to be open, honest and willing.
Willing to look into what is working and what is not working and have the courage to be honest with yourself and get real.
Coaching is about asking the right questions at the right time: Here are some of the questions that you may like to ask yourself:
1 ) Am I taking responsibility to own the problem or dilemma
2 ) Am I playing the blame game?
3 ) What can I learn from this incident?
4 ) What are 3 things that I can do differently to get a different outcome?
5 ) What is compromised?
6 ) Are my values aligned?
7 ) What if I were to observe the observed?
8 ) What is the struggle there?
9 ) What is the difference that would have made the difference?
Our normal surface listening and speaking is to:
1) Jump into conclusion
2) Assume
3) Take things personally
4) Attached to the dilemna
We can only empower people by listening 80% and speaking 20%. It’s commonly perceived that communication is how you speak. It’s not a secret now that effective communication is listening rather than speaking. Being aware of your levels of listening, your intention, the choices you make with full presence and focus on your goals or the outcome you want to achieve. The feelings you have, the actions you take, the reactions and the results.
This brings me to talk about levels of listening that can produce productive results that in a normal surface listening you could spiral into a negative cycle and into bigger problems. Or when you learn a different and deeper experience of listening that could spiral up to focusing on your solution and break free from your past and be in the present, clearing all past triggers and history and create that new experience, new thoughts, new behaviour and make that decision to take different actions, take risk and have a breakthrough with a new you.
Sounds like reformatting your computer. Clear the virus, cookies and information overload. The digital connect in an evolving globalization. That requires taking risk, learning and using new software, new mindset.
Deeper Level of Listening
To generate awareness:
1) Be aware of the past you
2) Be aware of your thinking
3) Be aware of your pattern
4) Be aware of your belief
5) Be aware of your habits
Shift of mindset:
1) Clear that up
2) Rewire your thinking
3) Take risk
4) Create new thinking
5) Do things differently
6) Create new possibilities
How to move forward?
* What is my intention?
* Stop the blame game
* See the potential of other’s point of view
These are the steps to stop:
Jumping into conclusion
Assuming
Taking things personally
Making others wrong
All these needs: PATIENCE & PERSERVERANCE to acquire quiet confidence, and authentic power. Work with a Life Coach.
shortens your learning curve and live life with purposeful focus.
July 3 2007
Topics: Life Coaching |