@Tweetup in Singapore
By admin | May 15, 2009
May 14 was the first @sgtweetup gathering that I went. It was held in Geek Terminal in market street, Singapore. I also invited Gary Goy the top 10 singapore tweeter. He was enjoying himself tweeting at the event.
After talking to several people, I got to understand twitting is therapeutic just like blogging. I stumbled onto twitter in March and got to meet many people from other countries twitting. Somehow I did not get into Singapore twitters. I was learning about this new social network.
No wonder I did not find myself speaking about common current events nor find the connection to twit. My friend Carl Griffiths organised @sgtweetup at Geek Terminal. It was great to meet people from all walks of life there. From that event, I went home to follow the Singapore tweeters and I realised there was one organised by Claudia which was the first one. Nice job. I also learnt a new word “prosumer” hope that is the right spelling. I thought we were all producers since I got into facebook. Cheers! to all tweeters:)
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How to find out your child’s Five Love Languages
By admin | May 15, 2009
These are the 5 love languages of teenagers written by Gary Chapman. Thanks to him that I became more observant of my teenagers’ behaviours.
- Affirmations
- Physical Touch
- Quality Time
- Acts of Service
- Gifts
Driving your children from one place to another is an act of service. A great opportunity to have a dialogue. Even if it is only for 10 minutes. You will be surprised that you understand your child better. No distraction unless you are listening to the radio. Switch it off and the silence is golden. I realised talking to my son in the car is most beneficial. Act of service seem to be his primary love language. He is happy when I give him a lift to his friend’s house. Drive him to school or buy food back for him. I can see his face light up, that is how I know. Observation. He observe my facial expression too. If I don’t say anything, some times, he will ask me, “What?” then I realised I was deep in thoughts!
When he asked what was my gathering about before I picked him up to collect a mouse he bought. I was more than happy to share because it was about the self development seminars I attended and made some very nice friends. We formed a group and continue to meet whenever some of them who live out of Singapore come to S’pore to attend another seminar. It’s like a Master mind group. If we don’t meet, we email as a group and update each other of our progress. Supportive and encouraging journey.
He got to understand my work with parents, teachers and students that has a contribution to his generation. His feedback was great! We got to talk about how the economic crisis had people who are not passionate about teaching got into teaching. It maybe frustrating for him to be taught by people who are not ready to teach but that is the reality of life that helps him understand life better. Acceptance of what is.
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Warriors called “Supremes”
By admin | May 14, 2009
Tonite is another of our gathering at Douglas’ house, one of the participants in Supremes. Supremes are a group of 20 participants who attended T Harv Eker’s Quantum Leap Seminars which span for one calendar year 2008. Quantum Leap is a list of program namely, Life Direction, Train the Trainer, Guerilla Business, Warrior Camp. ‘Making the Stage’ was sold at the end of the Quantum Leap program. 20 participants called ourselves “Supremes” were one of the three groups formed in Making the Stage.
19 of us met for the second time in Douglas house. We had food, drinks and healthy fruits. Sharon who attended the Private Circle Group was very generous, she shared her learnings with us. Thank you very much Sharon. It reminds me of Byron Katie’s teachings, it is always ‘you’. You create everything that you experience. Your business is a reflection of you, your life is a reflection of who you are.
Expectation and intention are two different things. Set intention to attract what you want. Release all expectation and accept what is. When you can create that space, the Universe hears you and you shall attract whatever you intend. The Definition of Success is subjective. Personally, I feel that whenever I am happy, feel at peace and calm, this is success to me. How many of you can feel like this all the time?
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An Evening with Hilda From The New Sun
By admin | May 14, 2009
I received this link from someone. http://hildacharlton.com/ I like these few lines, thought I share with you. “Liberation is to be free from the Earth, free from attachment to the Earth, free from reaction to the Earth. Someone yells at you and you’re calm inside. You do not react; therefore, the world cannot hold you. It’s as simple as that. It’s so simple. People have made it so complicated. “
I feel that this state of mind is like a little enlightenment. if someone yells, shout and react and I can feel good, feel calm and peaceful. It’s liberating too.
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Everyone needs a listening ear.
By admin | May 13, 2009
If you have no one to confide in your hardship, it becomes a burden. Too shy to confide with a counsellor? Seek help with the Samaritans of Singapore. Everyone needs a listening ear. Does not have to have answers to your sadness. It sure is heavy to carry the emotional baggage alone. I had mine off my shoulder years’ ago. Did I shake it off once and for all? No, it is a process. Does it mean I don’t have any challenges anymore? Absolutely not. the difference is, of course, I have learned many ways of handling it. Dealing with it. Still learning. That is OK. Reach out now.
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Mother’s Day
By admin | May 13, 2009
My eldest daughter who is now 20 gave me the most awesome cup that says “World’s Best Mum”. Make my life so happy!
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Day 3 A Journey of Self Discovery to Self Love
By admin | September 8, 2008
Day 3 A Journey of Self Discovery to Self Love
So on day 2, you would have written down either a paragraph, a line or two about one area of your
Life. For example: My business is generating $20,000 a month.
As a guide to know whether this is an inspiring goal, ask yourself these questions:
Is this inspiring?
Is this specific?
Is this achievable?
Is this challenging?
Is this realistic?
The next guide is to have a timeline. When would you like to achieve this goal?
If it is in one year’s time, the following questions to ask yourself again would be:
Is this achievable?
Where am I right now?
What would achieving this goal give me?
If your objective is to get out of your comfort zone and you are really tired of procrastinating and remaining where you are, shortening your time line creates an urgency and help you break down your goal into smaller bites. If you want to achieve your goal in six months’ time; Then I would suggest that you have clarity of your current situation in terms of your business income. Assuming your business income is $10,000 now, it may be possible to double that. The challenge is staying focus and asking yourself better questions.
This is what life coaching is about. When you have a Life Coach, it helps to have someone bounce off ideas, show you your blind spots, explore options and make you accountable for the actions that would lead you towards your goal. A Coach believes in you, support, encourage, motivate, stretch and move your forward to the next level.
Basically, this journey is about unconditioning and reconditioning our way of being. The habits we have that does not serve us. We are too comfortable to want to get out of it. Sometimes, it is because we unconsciously live our lives through the motion. We are unaware there are better ways to get out of status quo. It could also be we are avoiding change. Very few people embrace change because it means they have to do things differently. It could also mean they have to drop some long time friends and change their environment.
If you are one whom you feel can do it alone without engaging a Life Coach, don’t fret. I would come up with some more tips and techniques in my next article for you to continue this journey. Cheers! for now.
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Day 2 A Journey of Self Discovery to Self Love
By admin | September 8, 2008
A Journey of Self Discovery to Self Love
Day 2
Did you get to journal what you really really want in life? It would be easier if
we break it down into different areas of your life.
Did you write something about what you really want:
In the area of work
In the area of your income
In the area of relationship
In the area of your family
In the area of your career
In the area of your finance
In the area of your confidence
In the area of your travel
In the area your work life balance
In the area of your spirituality
Anything else that I have not mentioned above, just add it there and write them down.
One example of what you really want in the areas of your income:
My business is generating $20,000 a month.
You can write a few lines or a page or a line, it’s up to you as long as you are clear and feel it.
Do you know why you need to do this alone and not with your regular friends? I have to be bluntly honest with you that if you have been around people who whine, dump their negative garbage on your plate; Complain about the boss, his or her famly, how people make life so difficult. They also can’t wait to subtly show their cynicism especially when you have a really great idea. You can’t do this and you can’t do that. They are so strong in their opinion that it won’t work, you actually believe them! Should you turn and walk away? No — run! As fast and as far as you can. Don’t put up with it anymore! Lest you unconsciously become like them. In no time you will be one of them.
“It’s the decision you make that determines your destiny”, this is what Anthony Robbins the motivational guru said. It’s always your choice. It’s definitely not an easy choice, especially when you have been with them for a while. That means making new friends. Don’t say “No choice.” No choice is also a choice. We call that “letting go”. You will be surprised that the minute you let go, the energy shifts. Something else replaces that which you let go. Choose wisely.
You either get a buddy or get a Life Coach. Either way is fine, as long as it works.
SAY ‘NO’ to Disempowering people
List the names of your friends
Put D next to disempowering people who are negative, complained, pessimistic
Put E next to empowering people who are positive, solution focused, encouraging
The environment you create either nurture you or destroy you; Contaminate or contribute to your success.
You are now embarking on “A Journey of Self Discovery to Self Love”.
Do this first and we will come back for exercise day 3.
Let me know if you need any clarifications.
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Life coaching for anyone who is open, honest and willing to explore their potentials.
By admin | September 5, 2008
Life Coaching for anyone who is open, honest and willing to explore their potentials.
A Journey of Self discovery to Self Love
I guess it is divine timing that I am writing these articles to share with you how to coach yourself.
My Mission
To shift the mindset of individuals, families and organisations to develop self leadership by inculcating the value and importance of self love.
My Vision
A world where self love flows beautifully within individuals, families and organisations.
We have been brought up by our beliefs that it is self centered to love yourself first. The revelation I had is through a shift of my mindset. This was a three to five years’ journey. I didn’t just find out suddenly that I need to love myself when I wake up one day. It happened when I was in a rut, went through changes in my life. Make changes and do things differently. I must say that it takes a lot of courage at first. Then came breakdowns before a breakthrough. Was it scary? Definitely yes! I can hear you asking, “Then why did I do it?” I had enough of what I don’t want. If this feeling resonant with you, you will find it useful to read on. What I don’t want was the feeling of boredom, searching for meanings in life; Having communication and relationships problem.
For most part of our life we live day by day; Not knowing where we are, not knowing whre we want to go; Where we see ourselves in six months’ time, in one year’s time from now. That is OK for some. For those who are not satisfied with this, read on. There are tips and techniques which I am going to share with you regularly. If you decide to do the exercises, this is a free self coaching which I am contributing to you. You could give me feedback on how it can be better or share with me what is not clear to you by commenting on the space below.
Do you agree that:
- You could have a lot of things flying around you feeling overwhelmed.
- You could be doing a lot of things and not feeling satisfied at the end of the day.
- You could be bored, doing the same things over and over again.
- You could be feeling a sense of loneliness.
- You could be feeling very stressed.
- You could be feeling that you need to be more confident.
- You could be feeling that you have no work life balance.
- You could be asking question like, “Is this what life is about?” There must be more to it!
This is the starting of your inquiry into your own life.
Day 1 A Journey of Self Discovery Journey to Self Love
There may be some very useful questions to begin with. Read on, take a pen and a book and name it “Self Discovery Journey to Self Love” and answer these questions in a quiet place, in a park, coffee joint, somewhere where you are not distracted. “Time alone”. Begin to love yourself and value time for yourself.
For once do something very different from your routine. Life Coaching is about doing things differently.
- Forget about grocery,
- forget about work,
- forget about tuition for your kids,
- forget about errands to run,
- forget about picking up the laundry……stop doing things, task.. start creating a special ’space’ for yourself;
For once remember you still have you! You need ‘quiet time’ for you.
For once doing something for yourself, and not someone else.
*How can you begin the journey of discovering your self? Loving yourself?
*What do you really really want in life?
*What is your definition of success? Does it have to be the same as others?
*What would make you feel successful. What would you be doing to feel successful?
*What do you see yourself doing? Where would you be?
Quiet your mind. Our mind gets very busy thinking of what to do next, who to call, what if…….
Can you hear yourself now? Become aware of your thoughts…..focus on the questions above, not those in your head and answer them one at a time.
If you were to visualise, take your time to visualise it and write it down in a journal. Just keep writing and let your thoughts flow. Does not have to be in proper grammer or right words, just let it flow, trust that it will be OK. When you have done that. You can pick up the positive, inspiring key words from your journal. Words that speak to you. Summarise them into a short statement. It is OK to keep refining it until it feels right to you.
Next article to help you continue your journey of self discovery to self love through Life Coaching.
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Stop Parenting & Start Coaching
By admin | May 10, 2008
In my workshop I shared what I read about the increasing number of teenagers sent to the Institute of Mental Hospital by counsellors in schools in our Straits Times’ report in March 2008. Is it counsellors are not competent in their work or parents not cooperating? It is really sad because there are a huge number of parents suffering from the same sadness, worries and anxiety as their teenagers and dont know what to do. The difference is as adults we can cope better, we can handle it better and teenagers have limited resources to de-stress. They cannot articulate or express themselves as well as they like to. They either clammed up, shut down or act out. When they act out, parents often think that they are rebelling. Some parents who have problem communicating differently as their children transit from a child to a young adult get a shock to find their teenagers react very differently. Suddenly the child begin to talk back, refuse to go out with you, want you to talk less, find you irritating. If you find yourself facing the same issue, you are not alone. Your child is transitioning to a teenager, a young adult and searching for their identity. Give them the space to grow and don’t make them wrong. Their hormones are coming in as ours are leaving us. If we insist on treating them like a child, you will find it a struggle and your relationships may spiral down.
Stop parenting means do something different. Find out the love language of your child. Read Gary Chapman’s book on the five love languages of your teenagers. Instead of telling your child what to do, learn to let go and ask them questions instead. Get them at the right time because they are very stressed with peer pressure, study pressure, expectations from schools and parents and yet find it challenging to deal or handle the changes in their body. They begin to feel that they need to be independent and want to move away from parents. Seek to understand them then to be understood. Don’t insist that they must do the same things when they were in primary schools. Nevertheless, we still need to guide them.
Have clarity of where you are in your relationship with your teenager and where do you wish to go from here. What are the changes you need to do, how can you speak differently to them to get a positive respond from them. How can you support them in their growing pains. Are you also suffering from menopause or andropause?
Schools may not have the life skills that is necessary for them to work from inside out to process this sea of change. Some schools can have life skills such as goal setting, motivation tools, etc. but how it is being delivered is students don’t have ownership of their own goals. Without ownership of their own goals and having teachers set goals for them is not effective. The mindsets of teachers need to be changed. The sad part is, even if you have young teachers with different mindsets, the environment does not support them to grow or move forward.
How can parents also support them with new life skills to work together with them as the world become more complex. One of my client shared with me that teachers do not like to teach secondary schools. If they are asked to do so, they would rather resign. It is common knowledge that teachers ended up managing the classroom rather than teach. Parents are aware of the fact that the exam oriented system is not working and is very stressful for students and parents but little can be done unless parents speak up. It’s a catch 22. Teachers think that it is the parents’ expectation that students achieve academically.
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