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Building relationships and appreciating your children
By admin | September 7, 2007
September 2 2007 my two loving daughters were in the kitchen for hours. Both of them refused to let me and my husband enter. Sounds like they were cooking a storm. Finally they came out with a tray of lovelist cup cakes that I have seen. Chocolate top with colourful green & blue alphabets arranged into “pops n mops we love you from us”.
We were very happy and touched obviously. The cakes were very delicious. Without hesitation I said, “I am so blessed, thank you girls for putting so much effort into baking these lovely and delicious cupcakes, I love you too!” I am quite sure they felt appreciated for the effort they both put in. The cakes were bonus, the real value lies with the love we felt.
The joy is really seeing them so close, enjoying, discussing and cooperating in the kitchen. I believe this is what parents want to see and feel the closeness of their siblings and the love they have for us. I am grateful everyday. For us to have this loving relationship is like watering the plant everyday. Building relationships with hugs and positive communications. Catch them do something right and praise them. By acknowledging them we bring out the potential of their goodness and empower them. We show that we appreciate them not by their academic achievements but the little things they do everyday. Showing care and concern over their siblings.
A few years’ back I was unconsciously catching them doing things wrong and making myself right unconsciously too! No acknowledgement and certainly lack of appreciations. Do you think they want to be at home or around us? Definitely not! I had to attend so many seminars and so many radio talks on parenting and just as many self development course to do very simple things like saying “I love you”; “Thank you, I am so blessed.” Sometimes you can hear parents say things like,, “Well, who are they? We work so hard to feed them, house them, they should thank us! Does it sound familiar to you? I dont know about you, I was one of those who need to be educated to love my children unconditionally. How did I do it? I learn to love myself. I lost myself, I forgot who I am. I was frustrated with life because I try so hard to fix them instead of fixing myself. I worry too much about them. I learnt to let go. I know it is hard, when you let go, they want to come to you. When you hang onto them they cannot breath because we forgot that they need to grow up. You may asked, “I dont want them to make mistakes”. Well, mistakes help us learn. Instead of sending them to courses, I attend courses. Instead of doing things for them, to them because I love them. I learn to have a life, my life just begun. They learn to cook. They learn to make decisions. They learn life skills. I love myself and I have more love to give them with my loving energy. My job is to guide them, coach them and love them. Most of all lead an inspiring life mself! I am parenting differently.
Topics: Parent Coaching |