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Horton - The Movie with it’s values
By admin | March 14, 2008
Bonding
My two daughters, 19 and 13 wanted to eat ‘Sushi’ for lunch so we made it today and watch a movie called ‘Horton’. It is a cartoon show! We agreed that we have ‘girlie’ time at least once a month. That means the three of us. Other times to bond with extended family, we include her cousin and aunties for outings. We have one to one time too, that is to focus on one person at a time. So far we have done quite well. Scuba diving, cycling, jogging and trekking, playing cards and monopoly.
‘Horton’ is about an elephant who could hear noises from a speck! What I like about the show was to believe in yourself, live by your values. Driven by the one focus purpose, the elephant overcame huge obstacles to save that speck; where a community of different people lived. These people cannot see the elephant and the elephant cannot see them because they are so small, but he can hear them. Hence, the noises.
Generation and Communication Gap
Even this community of different people has the same kind of problem faced by parents and their children. To continue the legacy of generations and generations, the father wants the only male child to take over his job as a Mayor of that community. He has 96 other children who are girls. Unfortunately, the young man does not want to be the Mayor. He is creative, enjoys creating music. Sounds so much like the typical parents of the world! The child is so miserable, he does not talk to his father, looked miserable all the time. Of course, the father will never understand. He is conditioned by his belief and upbringing that for generations and generations they are all mayors and will be mayors and nothing else!
Crisis
Life is a game and a story. It has to take a crisis for the father to be awaken to realise that music can be of value to people and save lives!
Many people want to be right rather than to be happy!
The Kangaroo by wanting to be right, disregard the truth and tried to sabotage the Elephant. Talked about trying to inculcate values to her child and stop the elephant from expressing his desire to save the speck. Generation gap, gender inequality, speaking up from the heart; Values of self belief and forgiveness. If we can accept one another as a community, raise collective consciousness,……it can reduce conflicts…wishful thinking?…. Ultimately - “Oneness”.
Bullying
It was time well spent. During our lunch, we talked about how to handle bully in school. My younger daughter felt that she is not getting the message to one of her good friends about taking her wallet and hand-phone, constantly untying her shoe-lace even though she expressed her displeasure. she is aware of her tone of voice and smiling when she said that she does not like it. That could have had her friend thinking it is not ‘bully’. She is having fun too. I explained to her that your friend cannot connect your facial expression with the fact that you really don’t like what she does. On top of that, my daughter felt it was helpful to accompany her friend home. I suggested that she may want to break the pattern by not going with her for a while to give her the message. Until, she gets the message, she can always get back again. Obviously she would have to tolerate the discomfort of not being with her friend. I explained to her that she need to know that it is her responsibility and not her friend’s. She allowed it to happen.
Unconsciously, my daughter teach people to treat her. There is self awareness, now it is about processing the self management. I highlighted to her that the most important thing is the power of intention. The intention is not about being right. It is about being aware, honest with yourself, do something different to get a different result. Getting out of that negative energy to replace with positive ones to support each other. It is about taking self responsibility and not play victim. Empowering each other.
Will see what happens.
Bonding
My eldest daughter is a little pre-occupied because her boyfriend has just ‘pass out of parade’ from the army. They are planning to meet soon. Nevertheless, she suggested that my daughter stay away from her friend for awhile and get back after she stop doing those irritating things. It’s good to have her sister advise her. They are very close. I once heard both of them said to each other whilst sitting on the bed chatting, that they cannot live without each other.
My 19 yrs old passed her driving licence recently and to give her that confidence, I let her use the car and sat next to her. It was good for two weeks. I managed to get her to do errands and drive her sister to school. As an assertive daughter, she began to assume her right to use and resent it asking me why must I be so calculative. Each time she use, she has to do something for me. I told her that along with freedom, comes responsibility. It became an issue, we argued for a while and said some hurting things to each other. Her boyfriend is impartial and understood the situation so we talked over @ coffee club @ Kinokuniya, I was looking for ’New Earth’ book written by Eckhart Tolle. He tried to explained to her to understand that it is uncomfortable for me to feel that I cannot get into my car anytime I like, it is a loss of freedom for me. She may want to empathise with me. We did not resolve it. She looked very unhappy and we decided to leave the table. I got to the enquiry section to find my book, fortunately I bought it, it was the last copy that day! I then went to my psychology section to look at other books, shortly she called me on my hand-phone to look for me. As she walked towards me she smiled sheepishly & gave me a hug. I said, “It’s good to talk about it. I am so happy for you and proud that you have a boyfriend who is so matured.” She said, “Why don’t you tell him yourself?” We walked to another section and saw him browsing a book. We finally had a group hug in the middle of Kinokuniya. She asked me to give him a hug and I did.
On reflection, I know something triggered me and I don’t know what it is. It didn’t matter to me that much as I am able to move on pretty quickly. I am learning to enjoy the now and will continue to do so. NOW is all that matters.
To all parents, this is what I would like to say to you, “Have a life! Everything is perfect.” Ask yourself better questions. What do I really, really want?
Blockage
When I think of women, I realised it is not easy for women to let go. Part of it is our nature and nurture. We tend to put family first and forget to love ourselves. Loving ourselves is to take care of our mental, physical, emotional and spiritual being. When we are not full, we cannot fill their cups. A good analogy is the fact that we have to put on our oxygen mask in the plane before you put it onto your child’s. Let go of guilt & fear which I felt is the greatest blockage for us to live life with love. It has been conditioned into our head that we have to put family first. Your spouse is not immortal. What if he suddenly is not in your life for whatever reason. Do you have the confidence to pick up the pieces? The responsibility lies with each and everyone of us to continue learning and developing our confidence. Self awareness, self management and self responsibility.
Topics: Parent Coaching |