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What teenagers say….what mothers feel…What women think…
By admin | July 13, 2007
My youngest daughter is 12. She said to me, “You think we don’t know anything.” We are better than adults, when we don’t agree with our friends we talk it out, adults don’t do that, you quarrel.” I can’t agree with her more. I felt a little ashame too. This is one of the unconditioning that I am talking about and have done a lot over the years. I am very much at peace now that I can accept people as who they are and who they are not, that gave me the peace within.
Some teenagers say:
“Adults like to nag and scold and refused to let us explain. They think they are right all the time and like to assume and threaten.”
“They like to compare our results with cousins & friends!”
“They don’t trust us!”
Children teach us what we forgot and when we keep focusing on their potential and trust, we could learn much from each other. Children came through us and are there to manifest what we couldn’t see about ourselves. If you care to look closely, if you dare to look from within and if you have the courage to look beyond there is so much treasure that you can share.
I had lunch with a travel agent, she asked me what do I do. I said, I am a Life Coach. She said, “Oh, what is that? You are a sports coach? Swimming Coach? She sounded curious. We set down for lunch and I did my best to explain. The easiest was to talk about something that both of us are interested in. I asked her whether she has kids and she said yes, and looked preoccupied. “So what is your challenge?” She said, “Kids are really different these days!” I did not hesitate to agree. She said, when you tell them this is wrong they purposely do it. Sometimes, they even said “I don’t like you, and it hurts!” “They are so unlike us, when we were young and if our parents said don’t do this, we stop.” I liked what I heard because that is what my kids do too!
Hmm…. glad that I am not the only one suffering. Well, I am not a saddist, just felt that I am normal! I was excited to share with her how helpless I was 5 years’ ago until I started working on myself. On reflection, that was really a journey of self-discovery, breaking the pattern, unconditioning myself and reconditioning myself. Now my kids are 18, 16 and 12! Teenagers! I used to shudder with just the thought of them coming to these scary ages. Guess, I dont shudder so much, just clinch at times. Thanks to learning coaching skills, it helps a thousand times. From a helpless parent to a parent who could parent with more confidence and with joy. She asked me, “So what happens when you start to change? I said, “Initially it wasn’t easy, my children was not used to me changing the way I talk, the way I behave. They sometimes get angry with me.” I continued, “Well, I was determined to do something different almost every day. Yes, I was not happy with my old self. I didn’t even know I know myself any longer. I am sure many women knew what I meant. When you are awakened, you know that this is not you. No use trying to change others, it does not work that way. For anything to change, it begins with you! You desperately want to change, to do something about it. You know it is unstoppable when you so much as discover a glimpse of who you are and experience bits of new found confidence; That move you forward with hope.”
I shared with her that I did group coaching for students to get to understand and take this as part of my research of why there is this gap between parents, teachers and students that I felt so strongly exist.
I have coached Real Estate Directors, Insurance Manager, IT Executives, Head of Department in School, Trainers and consultants to name a few; it has occurred to me that when your relationship is not working, your life is not working. Life skills is a must have, it does make a difference in the work-place. Whether you are a CEO or a parent, or an individual, when you are not happy at home, you are not happy at work and vice versa. No two ways about it.
Many people are beginning to ask for parent coach program. Group coaching for parents. Many women I believe, find their lives torn between two lovers living like fools. To leave their job or not to leave their job?. To be a stay-at-home mom is lonely, unrewarding & challenging especially when you are not equipped with communication skills & parenting skills; When the single income is insufficient to grapple with the rising cost of living and education for children. To stay too long out of the work force also means you would not have the confidence to go back when there is a need, or want to. Any comments?
Topics: Parent Coaching |