• Dolly Yeo

Live Your Values Walk - Empty Nest Syndrome!

Updated: Aug 11, 2019


What will your life look like at 50, 60, 70 or 80 years old?  Do not be a perfectionist. You spend too much time feeling you are not enough. You could find yourself experiencing analysis to paralysis. You have been wanting to do something different and did not get to do it.  


A very good example is me! I was so keen to start reinventing my website. Home alone, when my children were out with their friends celebrating Christmas and New Year. Looked like empty next syndrome has dawned on me. I am glad I prepare myself for it. Even with preparation and awareness, I felt sad and lousy, fortunately it was momentarily. I did not want to do nothing at home. It has become a habit for me to be resourceful. Setting goals is good, and setting goals that aligns with my values is wise.


It was quiet and I decided to create an account with Wix.com. After all, it is free. I had so much experience, both good and not so good. I wanted to share. I heard the template is very nice and easy to use, no coding needed. So I went for it. Here you are! I am happy to say that I ushered my 2019 energised! Fortunately, my daughter in Perth helped me do some setting up. She is very good in operations and that is not my strength. So I am very grateful that we managed to get it up and going. It was user friendly, so I decided to upgrade this site to premium and paid wix so that I could use more features and there is no advertisements.  I literally worked throughout from late night to the next morning as late as 7am then went to sleep until 2pm.  So this erratic sleeping pattern began. That was how I spent my year end 2018 through 2019!


LIVE YOUR VALUES WALK

LiveYourValues Walk started in January, 2019 on Saturday and I realised it was too crowded. In February 2019, I started to change the LiveYourValues Walk to weekdays. This time, my girl friends joined and I wanted to experiment and experience how to add more value to the walk.




I did my research that when you start something new, go slow and let things unfold if you do not really know how it is going to turn out. Especially, when I don't really know what is the outcome except that Live your values walk in the forest is good for the mind and body. In hindsight, I realised I was pretty innovative.  I thank my friends trusted me and went with the flow.  As they gradually began to enjoy the camaraderie, their friends or they wanted their friends to join in.  Those of us who have grown up children are feeling the 'Empty Nest Syndrome'. 


Live Your Values Inner Circle

It's May 25, 2019 today - Time to talk about our LiveYourValues Inner Circle. I have numbered our walks and on May 15 it was our 13th Walk. I started to do part time work which falls on weekdays. I had to try and manage the schedule for our weekly walks. Our walks has evolved and when I shared about using tools and techniques to have more clarity, everyone was excited. Hence, the walk was renamed to LiveYourValues Inner Circle on May 24. It was possible because I had deliberately kept the group small to create rapport and develop trust. It is important to invest time and effort to observe the dynamics of the group, managed their expectations and their unique personalities and backgrounds. These women of substance have many years of achievements in their work and life experiences. And are successful in their career and work.


SAFE SPACE

Wheel of Life & Calibration Tools


Our May 24 Friday, the time was right to introduce the Wheel of Life and calibration tools. We were all geared to first Define and Refine our Values. By using coaching questions to facilitate the session and with the ladies all excited to start doing the exercise. Worksheets were prepared and distributed for each one to have a personal copy to take home. They are given the perogative to share or not to share. All were open to share and as a result, trust is further developed. This 'safe space' environment is very important so that everyone is encouraged to look inward, reflect and increase their own awareness. Powerful questions were asked and that is where people open up, because they have never been asked those powerful questions. The first session, I prepared questions for them to also learn how to use the tools and hopefully, they could use it for their family, when they are ready. By ready, I mean when they start to work on themselves to be aware of what is most important to them (their Values), set goals that align with their values. Go through the define, refine and shine their goals. Have breakthroughs and insights themselves. Once they get it, they will see the benefits and would be excited to use it.


FEEDBACK


At the end of the session, everyone gave feedback. It is important to get feedback, when someone give feedback, you understand what they got out of the session, apart from this, when they give feedback, they go through the process of expressing themselves, they get insights for themselves. From feedback we understand each others' perspectives. We bounce off ideas and reflect and discover our blindspots. I stay more focused to lead and feel the evolving journey. How did I develop trust for myself? By experimenting and I am experiencing my own innovation. When we have a deep dialogue, we take risks. It's OK to not know what is the outcome, from the feedback, trust is further developed. Consciousness, Love and Truth these three words were expressed from the session - Someone said, 'I could resonate and put them as one of my pillar of strength, it connects with them and resonate with my own journey.' When I do my own wheel of life, I am also accountable for my own learning. It's a self-mastery journey.


Someone wanted to have a soul family. Surrender, allow, and not with the idea that, I must do this or that. Not having certainty has become a way of life with feeling peace instead of the usual negative emotions, we got caught up in a vicious cycle. In summary, when people knew that there is a safe, supportive and encouraging environment to go to, they find solace, comfort, knowing that there is no judgement. They have a choice to change or not to change. Inspiration comes from someone taking action to break dis-empowering habits, beliefs and thoughts that does not serve them. Everyone is trying is to shed our ego. 'I am glad we managed to go very deep.' Such is the power of Live Your Values Inner Circle. These are some of the feedback from the sessions.


Defining and Refining goals

Another empowering session and feedback.

Looking forward to prepare another session to move from Defining, refining and shining more goals. We had our Wheel of Life worksheets with calibration tools. There is a deeper connection. When we fly on our own, we fly fast, when we fly together, we fly far. As to how to put insights into our daily life, this group will bring us to where we are and where we want to go. The Live Your Values Inner Circle session helped us to shine on our goal and hit on our soft spots.

What do you really want?

As a Life coach, whenever, I asked this question:- What do you really want? Most people were stunt.


Subsequent sessions, I don't have prepared questions, they are asked impromptu, connecting with each and everyone of them. Intuitively connecting to them is more insightful, as each and everyone are unique with different personalities and life situations. A great Coach is one who stays very neutral, drop assumptions to actively listen to the said and unsaid.


MINDSET COACHING

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