Updated: Dec 14, 2021
Have you set a goal and give up after one month? Who doesn't? That's because we set goals that are not aligned with our values. Before you start to set your goals, make a conscious effort to identify your personal values. Knowing your values help you to make choices in life, keep you focus on what matters to you. The daily actions you take in the way you live is clearer to you.
The source of unhappiness is not being clear with what is most important to us now. Setting goals with someone else's values assuming it is our own. Some times, we do not know that those values are not really ours, it might be conditioned by family or society's expectation of what should be important.
I am going to share some easy to use tools with you; Get a journal, from the list of values below, pick out three most important ones and write it into your journal. I like to call this Define Your Values Exercise. If you find that something is very important to you, is not in this list of values below, you could add your own :
Note: This is an exercise where you are best doing it in a quiet place where you are not interrupted or distracted. Do not think too long, from this list circle the top 3 most important values in your life right now.
List of Values:
Awareness, acceptance, adventure, accountability, balance, being the best, confidence, calmness, cheerfulness, community, consciousness, decisiveness, dependability, empathy, empowerment, enthusiasm, expressiveness, fairness, family, fitness, flexibility, fun, generosity, grace, health,happiness, honesty, humility, independence, innovation, inspiration, intuition, joy, kindness, leadership, love, making a difference, mindfulness, optimism, trust, travel.
Write down your top three values you just circled into your journal. E.g. you chose these values: 1) Health, 2) Confidence
From these three, choose one that is most important to you right now.
Set a goal that is aligned to your values. Assuming health (value) is what you value the most now. You have always wanted to reduce your weight for health reason and also to feel good.
Instead of saying I want to lose 5 kg. You might want to set a Goal - 'I fit into my red dress.' (which you could only fit in after you lose 5 kg.) Have a little fun setting your goals. There you go. Enjoy setting your goals and taking actions to change behaviour.